I got married in the summer of 2010. I met my husband 4 years after he had immigrated to NY (overstaying his visa). I am a US citizen and planned to file for his green card after we had married. so we dated almost a year, got married, and shortly about 2 months after began the process to get his green card (which has been pending for 8 months now and is really behind schedule).
My husband is great. however, I didn't have the wedding I wanted to. I got married in a local park with a reception at a nearby restaurant- and about 30 guests. Ideally, I wouldve wanted a small destination wedding in a tropical locale but my husband can't travel without "his papers." To make matters worse, I had a horrible case of hives on my wedding day and ended up in an emergency room after the reception.
Now, my wedding photos came out nice and airburshed the hives. however, I reflect back on this and feel horrible and like an "ugly bride." it brings me close to tears. also, I never got to have a honeymoon because of my husband's immigration status. we planned to have it this summer 2011 and thought we wouldve had his green card by now. however, INS keeps saying the interview date is coming closer. we are on the last part of this and overdue according to Immigration processing times.
We are now planning a plan B of going to Hawaii (since he can travel within the US right now) instead of the Caribbean island we had booked earlier provided the interview and papers don't come on time- since everything has slowed down. I also wanted to renew my vows in Hawaii to kind of make up for what went wrong last year. My mother acts as if I am being unreasonable for me and my husband to plan this vacation. I don't know why I'm not supposed to be happy but she really hurt my feelings. Would you be doing what I do??? please give your opinion.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to renew your vows and have a honeymoon, it is a great idea! Don't listen to your mother, because plenty of people have a delayed honeymoon. this is about you and your husband, not about what she wants. Definitely go for it, and good luck!
So, basically what you're planning is for just you and your husband to go to Hawaii, have a small, intimate ceremony for the two of you to renew your vows and also have it double as the honeymoon you never had?
I think that's fine. a honeymoon doesn't have to come directly after the wedding. in fact, most don't go on a honeymoon right after the wedding due to financial and work restrictions.
However, if you're planning to redo your wedding and invite guests and then head to Hawaii…i don't agree with that. a small, intimate vow renewal is NOT a wedding and shouldn't be treated as such. They're nothing like a wedding. If you want to have a small vow renewal with a few friends and family…great. But i don't agree with redoing your wedding because the first wasn't what you wanted.
Not that that's what you're planning…it's just your question was slightly unclear so i wanted to hit all my bases for an answer…
I would totally go for it!!! I would love to have the honeymoon I've always wanted for my wife and I. You only live once, so really what have you got to lose? Make it a time that you will never forget because you can't go back and do it all over again. Hope you have a good time.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a beautiful wedding. also, I don't think there has ever been a wedding ceremony where something didn't go exactly as planned. But due to the harshness of the events of yours, I can easily see why you would want a new ceremony. I don't think you're being unreasonable. and every bride wants a honeymoon.
I don't understand why your mother is acting the way she does. she may have other worries though such as the cost. But then, I don't know your mother.
Any location can be the perfect honeymoon if the two of you are having a good time. your attitude toward insisting that your ceremony/honeymoon happen on an island could be the means for ruining your good time. taking pleasure in his company wherever you have your honeymoon and/or ceremony is to key to having the best honeymoon ever. Attitude is everything.